Breaking the Paradox of Play

While we know that play offers a panoply of affective benefits, we tend to move toward playing when we are already in a good mood. What happens when you have a bad day at work, get into a conflict with a loved one, feel your fuse shortening or the week has just run you down? Play?

Maybe not.

That’s what we call the Paradox of Play, and in its purest form, it simply points to the fact that we don’t often play when we need it the most. Why is that? Without suggesting a clinical explanation, the lack of desire to play when it could help probably comes down to some pretty reasonable reasons:

1. Lack of Emotional Energy: Play requires a kind of openness and willingness to engage. When you’re sad or anxious, the brain often defaults into survival mode. That creative, spontaneous part of you faces a wall of inertia. You get trapped in a loop where you are too tired to play to generate the energy you need to play. Paradox.

2. Shame or Self-Judgment: When you feel down, it seems like that inner critic takes the stage.“This isn’t the time to play. You have serious stuff going down.” And once you go down that road, play starts to seem like an approach to avoiding issues rather than engaging them.

3. Suppressed Imagination: “The opposite of play isn’t work, its depression”, as Stuart Brown has notably quoted. And if the is the case, then it’s axiomatic that you are as far from play as possible when you feel down. Your brain stops imagining that play is available, even if it is.

What’s even more problematic is that the Paradox of Play also comes up in more mundane situations. Are you dreading cleaning the house, finishing a report or doing your taxes? Lack of energy and imagination combined with some self-judgment can keep you on the couch rather than following Mary Poppins in finding fun in work you’d like to avoid.

So how do you cut through the Paradox?

Play On!

While there’s no recipe book for applying play to improve your mood (that we know of), some ideas come to mind. In the spirit of playing with the Paradox, here’s what we have to share:

1. Phone a friend: Sure, finding a shoulder to cry on is sometimes the best thing in the world. But what if you have a friend or two you have given permission to playfully cheer you up? Come up with a codeword. Call that special pal and tell them: “I’m sad. Play me up!” They’ll know what to do.
2. Start small: Doodle, hum, do a little dance. You don’t have to dive headfirst into play to start the process.
3. Go find some fun: Disneyland is the “Happiest Place on Earth” not because people don’t get angry and sad and stressed and upset there. It’s the happiest because it’s a place designed to be playful, lighthearted and fun. Do you have a fun place? A tree swing? A pinball parlor, an ice cream shop or even a place where you can just skip stones in a river? Make a list of places that bring out the play in you before you need it. Then get there when you do.
4. Practice makes perfect: Don’t you hate those people who seem to be able to laugh at disaster, skip past failure and smile in the face of conflict?  Don’t be a hater; aspire to be them. As Rumi advised, ”There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the ground; there are a thousand ways to go home again.” If that’s the case, there has to be just as many ways to find your playful soul and live in that place during times of trouble.

Do you play enough?

Most people would say that they don’t, and the world of play advocates stands by to exhort: Hey! You need to play more, buddy! Get outside! Jump in a puddle! Snuggle up at home and do a puzzle! Play a game or start learning archery! Do anything besides work, binge senseless TV series and doom scroll.

The call to more play remains an enticing antidote in a culture that routinely devalues or often marginalizes play, particularly adult play. We have a bad habit of overworking and then narcotizing ourselves with anything desperately to recharge before the next onslaught of productivity. Sometimes, we even come home from work and work more to feel better about work. Even worse, in our go-go culture, we too often optimize our downtime around fast-casual dining, fast-casual media and fast-casual, drive-by relationships. Ugh.

If all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, as the old saying advises, maybe no work and all play would be the way to go. If we played all the time and never worked, would we feel better? Would we be happier? The knee-jerk reaction seems to urge a full-throated YES. But really? Is play a utopia?

In his book, The Grasshopper, philosopher Bernard Suits sets up a conversation between Aesop’s grasshopper and the ants. As you may recall from the fable, the grasshopper fiddled and fooled around all summer while the ants labored. When the cold weather set in, the grasshopper had nothing and had to rely on but the generosity and largess of the hardworking ants. In Suits’ retelling, the ants offer the grasshopper food and shelter, but the hopper rebuffs them. He’d rather perish in the cold of winter than regret playing all summer or be in debt to the ants for future work. So, in this version of the parable, the grasshopper dies.

But doesn’t this skip over a truth—work can be deeply satisfying? Maybe there is another way of thinking about this.

The great British historian Arnold J. Toynbee once opined, “The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.” He saw something important in civilizations that treated work as a form of joyful expression. Perhaps he never thought of it this way, but it seems he saw something significant in the idea that you should “Whistle while you work.”

Making work fun has long been a goal of management looking to juice more productivity from workers. For Toynbee, the idea wasn’t to sugarcoat unpleasant labor but to find joy in the work. And the only reason this sounds provocative is because we have this false dichotomy between play and work. As a culture and a worldview, we have embraced the idea that everyone is working for the weekend. Work sucks, but I need the bucks—presumably to spend at least some of that on something outside of work that is fun enough to make work tolerable.

This work/play dichotomy misses the much more obvious truth that there is such a thing as playful work, and certainly, there is serious play. Anyone who looks forward to their job understands that it comes with a sense of play. Anyone serious about play knows how much fun it is to get deep into what you are doing. When you think about work as purposeful making and play as a kind of embodied experience—as fun—then work and play enter a dance. Suddenly, it’s okay for work to be hard and challenging and difficult because the effort is connected to meaning. It is also okay for work to be very playful, creative, joyful and engaging.

Back to the question at hand. Would more play and less work always be the right choice?

At this point, you should have some questions about that question. If work was more like play and play embodied the meaningful-making aspects of work, what would it mean to play more and work less?

Before we answer that question, one more observation.

In general, play is self-modulating. That is, if we play too long, we get tired of playing. If we go on a beach vacation, eventually, we decide to get off the sand and eat dinner, read a book or go to bed. If we visit Disneyland and spend 12 hours in the park one day, the next day, we might feel pretty good about sleeping in a little bit because we’re tired. In that sense, play self-regulates or modulates because we recognize that the purpose of play is to feel joy and engage in meaning-making. It is challenging to play too much because we have to take a break to recharge our play batteries and enjoy playing. At the same time, work is not so self-regulated or modulated.

Cultural norms and our bank account constantly remind us that more work is better. It runs deep. America was founded by a bunch of Pilgrims who told us that “idle hands are the tools of the devil.” Even today, guys like Musk and Ramaswamy tell us that we should be working 80 hours a week or we are lazy. The entire capitalist system demodulates or deregulates us around work because it assumes that if work is good, more work is better. Notice here that the rhetoric is always around control and the premise that work and play are different things. It turns out the systems of power are most comfortable when play is separated from work and work is under management.

Put all this together, and you reach a workable answer to the question, “Is more play better?” If you don’t buy into the play/work dichotomy, the real question is simply one of balance. It follows then that you should always ask if your work is playful enough and if you are taking your play seriously enough! Beyond that, remember to introduce some of the self-regulation into your work life that you naturally have in play.

We see kids play. We see animals play. We see movie stars and influencers play. But we don’t see adults play very often. This might be a bigger problem than we think.

One time, while walking in downtown Denver, Lisa said to me: I dare you to skip. I was wearing my usual office attire, including a jacket and tie, so the request seemed…I don’t know…dangerous. Lisa knew this and proceeded to push my buttons like Buddy the Elf in an elevator.

“So, you are afraid of what other people think? You are the professor of fun and you tell everyone they should have fun, but you won’t take a risk and do it yourself? Are you afraid you will lose respect or look silly?”

I knew I wasn’t going to win that argument and I immediately gave in. We started skipping down the sidewalk, two professional grown-up, two professors, laughing and playing. I don’t even remember if anyone was watching because once we started having fun, it didn’t matter what anyone thought. 

This story popped out of my memory when our friends Adam and Maarten from InnoPlay  sent us a video from the Playposium last year in LA. In the video, a group of us were frolicking (yes, that is the correct word) through the streets of late-night LA, jumping, hopping, dancing and skipping. That short video took me back to one of the most playful moments of the past year and reminded me that I wasn’t playing enough today.

This got me thinking about the visibility of play. Consider how infrequently we see other adults play. Yes, there are places and moments–at big concerts and sports events, occasionally on a holiday skating ring or maybe during the weekend softball league. But the truth is, we don’t often see adults delighting in a rain puddle, throwing rocks in a pond or diverting from an errand to spend a moment on the playground. When was the last time you impulsively bought a snow cone on a hot summer day when you weren’t with kids?

It’s one of the paradoxes of play that we don’t see play enough to remember to that play is the thing that we probably need the most.

Humans are programmed to seek out what they need. We look for food when we are hungry, a warm place when we are cold, excitement when we are bored and companionship when we are lonely. We do this instinctually and on a cellular level. We find ourselves craving sunlight and vegetables during the darkest days of the year when our diet is out of whack. We look for laughter when we need picking up and bond over angry topics when we need to feel confident. We are seeking machines. And we desire to play all the time to grow, evolve, learn and connect.

The trick is that we are also pretty lazy. If you are hungry and your house is full of snack food, Doritos it is. If your mind needs a spark of energy, your iPhone is a moment away. When we need change in our lives, we can ogle influencers talking about exotic places we should visit or look to pundits to summarize books we should, but will never, read. Our system knows what it needs, but our energy-saving convenience system will always point us to the lowest-hanging fruit, rotten or otherwise.

This is why the visibility of options becomes so essential. If your cupboard has chips and apples, you still have to choose, but the convenience is leveled out. When you keep a book on your bedstand, it’s a reminder that there are other ways to fill your mind than social media in reach. And when your body feels that itch that play can uniquely scratch, we need to remember that skipping is as easy as playing Wordle.

This isn’t a call to ban modern forms of play or to suggest that skipping is more playful than word games. Instead, this is an observation about how play surrounds us, but when it is invisible, we are tempted by the world around us to spend our playtime watching Netflix, dabbling in online gambling or going drinking at a bar.

Or take it back to the top. Almost a year ago, I was skipping through the streets of LA with some of the most interesting, joyful and playfully rebellious people I know. Then, we all went our different ways, returning to our jobs, families, and responsibilities. And I haven’t skipped once since. What I needed was what that video showed. I needed to see other grownups acting, not like kids, but like playful adults. I need to see a perfectly put-together businessman skipping down the street, pausing to enjoy a game of hopscotch or shooting his trash into the garbage like Larry Bird. Swoosh. I need to see play to help me be playful.

Which is to say: We need adult play to be as diverse and authentic as child’s play. And to get there it needs to be more visible. I’ve been that person dancing down a rainy street, the guy in a bar showing random strangers card tricks and inventing the office potluck where everyone brings food they don’t like, but most people do (the Yuck Luck). I don’t have an excuse. But I can’t do this alone. I need to see more play to remind me to play more and let the virtuous cycle continue.

The next time you feel like telling a joke in an elevator of strangers, taking a spin on the monkey bars or just skipping, do it. Not only is it good for you, but someone might be watching and reminded that it’s their turn next. As Van Halen sagely noted: Might as well jump. 

Free Workshop

Led by Carrie Lobman, Gwen Lowenheim and Jiunwen Wang, PhD

Online

Friday, October 25 from 12:00-1:30 MST

Register Here

Looking to make your classroom more inclusive, collaborative, and fun? Improv can do just that—while keeping it rigorous and engaging!

Join us for a hands-on workshop where you’ll discover how improvisation can transform your teaching, spark creativity, and build a vibrant learning community. Using improv’s core principles like “Yes, And…” and “Make the ensemble look good,” you’ll learn how to create dynamic, responsive classrooms that foster deeper connections, curiosity, and **making discoveries** alongside your students.

Walk away with fresh tools and global examples to bring new energy to your lessons and support your students in taking meaningful, collaborative risks. Let’s co-create, perform, and explore new ways to teach and learn together!

Carrie Lobman, PhD – Dr. Lobman is an educational researcher, trainer, and teacher educator whose research explores the value of improvisation and play for learning and development. She is a nationally recognized advocate for play and creativity for the education of people of all ages. She is a consultant to educational programs internationally, most recently in Dhaka and Sao Paolo. In 2011 she joined the Board of Directors of the national All Stars Project, where she serves as a consultant to its Institute for the Study of Play.  She currently serves as the pro-bono director of pedagogy for the East Side Institute. Her publications include: Unscripted Learning: Using Improvisational Activities Across the K-8 Curriculum (Teachers College Press) with Matt Lundquist; and Play and Performance (University Press of America) with Barbara O’Neill.

Gwen Lowenheim, MSEd

Gwen Lowenheim is the Founder and Coordinator of International Conversation Groups & its Facilitator Training Program at Pace University where she also supervises a Civic Engagement component for both programs. Gwen is a Writing & TESOL instructor, Organizational & Project Based Coach, Teacher Trainer and co- founder of “Yes, and…” Higher Education Network. 

Gwen trains and supervises educators and social entrepreneurs around the world in a social therapeutic, performance-based learning approach that brings creativity and innovation into classrooms, organizations and community-based programs. Her programs introduce theatrical improvisation, philosophical exploration, remix and group play in developing collaborative teams, leadership development, language learning and stress management.  

Jiunwen Wang, PhD

June is a Senior Lecturer at the Singapore University of Social Sciences, where she adds a dash of creativity to leadership development module in the Human Resource Management Programme. Her research dives into the wonderful world of improv and its magical effects on individuals. Right now, she’s designing  a fresh leadership course that blends improv into the classroom, bringing spontaneity and flexibility to future leaders. She has also published teaching activities utilizing improv and artistic methods, including a thought piece on a flourishing classroom.

In her artistic adventures, June is also exploring Playback Theatre, where stories come alive on stage, and in her spare time, you’ll find her singing her heart out with the Singapore Symphony Chorus!

Sign up today: https://www.eventbrite.com/x/1041332693117/

Welcome to October. That can only mean one thing:

The deadline for submitting your playful online techniques to the Professors at Play Online PlayBook is only a month away!

We have been collecting playful ideas for making online learning more relevant, engaging and fun! And we want to hear from you. Whether you have a tried-and-true technique you’d like to share or have a brainstorm of something that you think might work, get in touch. You can find all the information about the Online PlayBook here:

https://professorsatplay.org/professors-at-play-online-playbook/

Also, as an update on the production process.

Originally, the PlayBook was going to be published by ETC Press. The ETC team has evolved the platform into a new consortium:  Play Story Press. We will be moving this PlayBook and future publications under the PSP umbrella. You can read more about the new consortium here:

https://professorsatplay.org/new-play-press/

In November, we will edit the PlayBook and produce the final formats and layouts. We plan to have the digital and print versions out early in 2025. No waiting around years to see your work in print! Submit this month and help spread the word that playful pedagogy matters.

Submission information and details are on the Professors at Play website:

https://professorsatplay.org/professors-at-play-online-playbook/

And Happy Halloween! May all your tricks be treats!

You might have noticed that The Professors at Play AI PlayBook was put out by Play Story Press and wondered, “Who is that?”

In short, PSP is the evolution of Carnegie Mellon’s ETC Press. The new consortium will carry on the work started with ETC, and will be run by ETC Press’ founder, Drew Davidson.

As an open community publishing consortium, PSP is committed to serving the broader play community through open-access publishing. Professors at Play is delighted to participate as one of Play Story Press’s founding community partners. Leveraging the PSP platform and consortium, we can now publish under the Professors at Play Publications at Play imprint. What does this mean to the P@P community? Several things:

• Having an academic press publishing partner allows us to make longer-term publishing plans without worrying about where things will end up.
• The PSP format is super flexible. We will be able to produce non-traditional publications like the AI PlayBook, but we can also support peer-reviewed articles and books as well.
• More control over the publishing process means we can get things out more quickly!

Check out the Play Story Press website to see the press’ current work and learn more from the press release below:

Play Story Press – An Open Community Publishing Consortium

We are excited to announce the founding of Play Story Press™, https://playstorypress.org, an open community publishing consortium of/by/for the field and our community. It is a diamond open-access academic publishing initiative in which contributors retain all of their intellectual property. We work with our contributors in as timely a manner as possible so that we can share ideas that have impact and significance in our society. The common tie for all these is a focus on issues related to stories and play as they are applied across various fields. The concepts of story and play are broad and diverse—from entertainment and narrative to media studies and social studies, games and technology to health and enjoyment, education and learning to design and development, and more. 

Play Story Press is a culmination of 20 years of open-access publishing and collaborating with the community. Our founders started ETC Press in 2005 as an experimental open-access academic publishing imprint, and the success we had was a direct result of all the quality work that was written by our community. Inspired by this, Play Story Press is an evolution to become even more focused on the community and field. The consortium comprises an exceptional group of partner organizations that will work together, shaping and supporting Play Story Press for the field and community. The following groups are committed to this endeavor (and we’re actively in discussions with more potential partners):

Analog Game Studies

Association for Computing Machinery

Association for Research in Digital Interactive Narratives

Broke the Game

Connected Learning Alliance

Digital Games Research Association

Digital Storytelling Lab

Game Genius

Games for Change

Games+Learning+Society

Higher Education Video Game Alliance

International Game Developers Association

iThrive Games / History Co:Lab

Joan Ganz Cooney Center

Knowledge Commons

Learning Games Network

Meaningful Play

Professors at Play

Remake Learning

Serious Play Conference

Society for the Advancement of the Science of Digital Games

Take This

Thriving in Games Group (formerly Fair Play Alliance)

Play Story Press™ is an independent non-profit organization powered with input and involvement from the consortium, our contributors, and the community at large. This continues our innovations in publishing, and we invite people to participate. Together, we can explore and create the future of open academic publishing, sharing and spreading ideas and knowledge that can help change the world for the better.