By Lisa Forbes
2020 has been quite a year. Many would probably like to pretend that 2020 never happened. It’s been extremely stressful and exhausting for me too for several reasons but one amazing thing that has happened in 2020 was the creation of Professors at Play. It started with 5 people on a listserv which then blew up to 574 people. Then it became a website and blog. Then it became a virtual Playposium with 361 registrants. Then it expanded to have a social media presence and YouTube channel. All within five months. And for me personally, it’s become something I think about and do everyday.
I think about play every. single. day.
Maybe the labor of Professors at Play has added to my stress and overwhelm within 2020 (because it is a lot of work). But maybe, just maybe, it’s helped me emotionally survive 2020. Play has a multitude of benefits including being a buffer against stress.
In counseling, some therapists conceptualize change from a triangle of cognitions, emotions, and behaviors. Some believe, if you change your thoughts, your emotions and behaviors will follow.* So, I wonder if by thinking about play everyday, my emotions become more playful and happy and when I have playful, happy emotions, I do more playful and happy things. In adult life, it’s easy to get sucked into developing tunnel vision where you can only see stress and seriousness. Stress and seriousness are inevitable facets of life but I don’t think that’s all life has to be. So, as I think about play every day, I can feel it grounding me, providing some levity, and keeping my stress in perspective. I have definitely been better about stepping away from the computer to play.
And that rubs off on the people closest to me.
One example is my son. He is one of the most social kids I know – he is an 8-year-old diehard friend. A lover of playdates. The kid goes to school only looking forward to seeing his friends. That and the day he gets to buy pizza. He struggles academically so you can imagine how grateful I am that his school had 12 weeks of in-person learning. So, last week, my son’s school transitioned to fully virtual learning due to rising COVID numbers. The first week was tough. 2nd graders should not be in front of a computer for 5 hours a day, especially my son. No friend time. All academic time through a tiny computer screen. By Thursday, he was very grumpy.
I had found this fun drawing game and instead of engaging in my son’s grumpy-ness, (because I already tried validating him and it only seemed to make it worse) I invited him to play the game. He was initially annoyed and didn’t want to play but as he sat on my lap and played the game, his mood instantly shifted. After he finished the first round he said: “I want to play again!” Then he and I took turns playing the game. We sat there playing, laughing, and talking for 20 minutes. You can imagine with such a robust social life that he has, it’s rare for me to get such precious snuggle time with my little man anymore.
That’s the power of play. Play instantly improved his mood. Play united us and provided us a moment of connection and bonding. I even felt lighter after that.
So, here’s one thing 2020 has taught me: if you give in to the stress and seriousness, it will swallow you whole. But, if you allow a little play into your day – even a 20-minute silly game – you can approach the seriousness and stress from a more centered and lighter place.
Go on, give it a try: https://quickdraw.withgoogle.com/
*Disclaimer: As a counselor, I don’t usually suggest this model of change until we have deconstructed the role that larger systems have had in mandating the client’s thinking. It’s important for clients to understand how external oppressive and restricting messages can become internalized. Without this discussion, suggestions to simply “change your thinking” can be dismissive and pathologizing. But in this case, bringing more play into your thoughts and life – it’s safe :).